But I think I found this quote in "O" magazine, and I LOVE IT:
...I will never be alone or unloved. that I am inextricably,inexplicably connected to every living thing on the planet... Harriet Brown
As a rule, I am not a fan of things Oprah, Dr. Phil, and overall, "feel good" stuff. Which makes me sound like a bitter woman, which I am not. I wish to explain.
I have much respect for Oprah. She has done some amazing things for people and her own life. I guess I have a bit of, well, Jimmy Carter syndrome. Do things quietly and the rest will follow. My mother gave me a few old copies of her "O" magazines and this quote had to be cut out. I think it's a part of my belief of the Ripple Effect. How everything effects everything. The air I breathe is a part of the plants. The food I eat is grown from earth (along with the darn plants). I will never be alone, as long as Orion is in the sky (as he is my starry other boyfriend). Even in the darkest moments of my tiny part of the world, I am not unloved or alone. There is magic and life and love all around me at all times.
And so are you, Dear Reader. Physically, I may be alone at this moment typing on this computer, but my soul is entrenched in so much of the universe. So much so, that HOW can I POSSIBLY be alone?
And if that makes me a dirty hippy, yikes! Guess I am. If a dirty hippy dressed like a punk rock 4 year old and really liked being clean and tidy.
Friday, February 24, 2012
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Changing the Hero Theory
For right now. This blog is supposed to be about me changing my life for the better. Sorry that I took a few days off, but Life Happens and I've been spending a lot of time thinking about this blog and what it means to me and how I want to use it for my change. Which makes me sound rather pre menopausal, but what do I know? Maybe I am... Yikes!
Right now, my current mission is Henry, my spoiled gorgeous dog. Always have been a cat person. In 98% of my adult life, I have owned a cat. When I was working at my last job, I met A. who works for a rescue dog group. Joined the group on FB and watched, mildly amused at the pups up for offer to good homes. "Meh, I'm a CAT LADY, and I will die surrounded by 15 of my lovely darlings..." Then I got THAT picture. Yes, THAT one that makes your heart melt and you just KNOW. It's like falling in love for the first time. Heh, but this young man can't really dump me. And I would have to be one stone cold hearted bitch to dump him. Tiger and I named him Henry Gene Rollins after, um, Henry Rollins (same coloring and short legs, but oh so charming and funny and meaningful), and Gene Simmons (the tounge). So, our little rock and roll lover will become a Companion Animal. Henry is so sweet and fun and nice, that why shouldn't he be? I've contacted a local agency, so H and I can have meeting dates where we can share the love of all that is H.
Only current problem is now, I have jury duty coming up. Yikes. This may be changing my life in more ways than I think!
Right now, my current mission is Henry, my spoiled gorgeous dog. Always have been a cat person. In 98% of my adult life, I have owned a cat. When I was working at my last job, I met A. who works for a rescue dog group. Joined the group on FB and watched, mildly amused at the pups up for offer to good homes. "Meh, I'm a CAT LADY, and I will die surrounded by 15 of my lovely darlings..." Then I got THAT picture. Yes, THAT one that makes your heart melt and you just KNOW. It's like falling in love for the first time. Heh, but this young man can't really dump me. And I would have to be one stone cold hearted bitch to dump him. Tiger and I named him Henry Gene Rollins after, um, Henry Rollins (same coloring and short legs, but oh so charming and funny and meaningful), and Gene Simmons (the tounge). So, our little rock and roll lover will become a Companion Animal. Henry is so sweet and fun and nice, that why shouldn't he be? I've contacted a local agency, so H and I can have meeting dates where we can share the love of all that is H.
Only current problem is now, I have jury duty coming up. Yikes. This may be changing my life in more ways than I think!
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Heros #1, #2, #3
Men heros. Okay, so very non-feminist of me, but the list of Female Heros is much more extensive than Men Heros. That will be many blogs.
Heros #1 and #3 were named in my last post. One, of course, is my brillant boyfriend Tiger. Tiger is probably the most Zen of Non Practicing Zen people I have ever met. I won't go into what he practices (maybe not ever due to the stigma attached to it). But the peace that he carries with him and brings to everyone he encounters astounds me. He's not crazy, in a cult or anything, so don't worry. I promise to never go to a far away ranch with him and drink Kool-Aide. He's just so... Centered. Of course he has off days, but his off days are like my "I'm just in a tiny bit of a bad mood" days. It's pretty spectacular. The best thing is, when I'm having one of my off days (ie nearly screaming nutso), he doesn't avoid me or walk away or ignore it. He gets to the root of the problem, and suddenly, I'm breathing again and laughing about it. Hero #3 is Noah Levine. Sorry, Noah, but you take second to...
Hero #2, Brad Warner. Another sort of punk rock monk. My dream of dreams would be to have tea with Tiger, Brad, and Noah. Actually, a bottle of tequila would be good, but to the best of my knowledge Brad and Noah don't drink. Tiger and I rarely imbibe, but still, in my imagination, it would be a fun party.
What did I do today to change my life and the world around me? While driving to work today, I had on the local jazz station. Big change from the usual music I listen to. I found that it made the drive easier. I was much less angry at passing motorists, or the ones you want to scream "GET OUT OF MY WAY" at. I parked what felt like a gazillon miles away from where I needed to be, and didn't care. Was smiling when I walked into the shop. Since I currently work in retail right now, that's a big plus. It's not like I can hide in a cube and cuss at the floor. Overall, a fun day.
Heros #1 and #3 were named in my last post. One, of course, is my brillant boyfriend Tiger. Tiger is probably the most Zen of Non Practicing Zen people I have ever met. I won't go into what he practices (maybe not ever due to the stigma attached to it). But the peace that he carries with him and brings to everyone he encounters astounds me. He's not crazy, in a cult or anything, so don't worry. I promise to never go to a far away ranch with him and drink Kool-Aide. He's just so... Centered. Of course he has off days, but his off days are like my "I'm just in a tiny bit of a bad mood" days. It's pretty spectacular. The best thing is, when I'm having one of my off days (ie nearly screaming nutso), he doesn't avoid me or walk away or ignore it. He gets to the root of the problem, and suddenly, I'm breathing again and laughing about it. Hero #3 is Noah Levine. Sorry, Noah, but you take second to...
Hero #2, Brad Warner. Another sort of punk rock monk. My dream of dreams would be to have tea with Tiger, Brad, and Noah. Actually, a bottle of tequila would be good, but to the best of my knowledge Brad and Noah don't drink. Tiger and I rarely imbibe, but still, in my imagination, it would be a fun party.
What did I do today to change my life and the world around me? While driving to work today, I had on the local jazz station. Big change from the usual music I listen to. I found that it made the drive easier. I was much less angry at passing motorists, or the ones you want to scream "GET OUT OF MY WAY" at. I parked what felt like a gazillon miles away from where I needed to be, and didn't care. Was smiling when I walked into the shop. Since I currently work in retail right now, that's a big plus. It's not like I can hide in a cube and cuss at the floor. Overall, a fun day.
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Today is the First Day of my Conscious Life Change
I just finished reading Dharma Punx by the amazing Noah Levine. He writes of spending a year of acting as if he only had one year to live and what he would do with that time, and his journey into Buddhism. I began reflecting on my life and what I have done and what the world means not only to me, but to others.
I’m no saint. I’ve done my share of bad and good. I like to think that the good outweighs the bad (don’t we all). I try and treat others the way I want to be treated and share what I have with others.
This past year has brought around so many changes. Beginning of the background to my decision...
On March 27th, 2010, my husband and I separated after nearly 7 years of marriage. There were many factors in this. I loved him very much, but we were very very toxic for each other. I had become a selfish and nagging shrew who basically went to work as often as I could to escape the household and him. My health suffered, I was angry all the time (when I wasn’t sobbing), verbal abuse was used by both of us, and there was just so much despair. We finally moved apart and I filed for divorce.
The year that followed, I made sure to spoil myself. I took more time off from work. I travelled to Chicago, San Antonio, and Seattle. I nestled into my apartment (after a good saging), and made my little world. Then my little world got a little bigger.
One year to the day that the Ex and I separated, Tiger walked into my life. We had gone to HS together and recently had connected over FB, but I just viewed him as an old buddy. But on March 27th, 2011, he literally walked into my life, via the restaurant I was working at. After my shift, we went and caught up over a drink at The Bar by my apartment, and from that night on, he’s been a constant in my world. To the point of moving in with me two months later. Tiger has been nothing but a blessing. But it doesn’t end there. Before Tiger had invited himself (with open arms of course) into what is now our happy life, I had invited one of my girlfriends from Chicago to move into my second bedroom. LJ had been unemployed there for years, and she finally accepted my offer to relocate. So, mid April of last year, she moved in, then Tiger joined us. There have been rough times, but we all try very hard to make this as amazing of an experience as possible.
During this time, I was working as a waitress at one of the more popular local restaurants. At the end of last year, I was coming home from work shaking and sad. It wasn’t that I hated my job. I loved it and worked with my best friends. It was just after 25 years of the restaurant industry, I hit the wall. I was miserable. So I broke my cardinal rule. I gave notice with no back up job.
The story goes on, but I’ll save it for my next post. Basically, I’m calling this the Year of Life Changing. Doing things that will not only enrich my life, but others and the world around me. I hope everyone who comes across this little blog enjoys my new adventures…
I’m no saint. I’ve done my share of bad and good. I like to think that the good outweighs the bad (don’t we all). I try and treat others the way I want to be treated and share what I have with others.
This past year has brought around so many changes. Beginning of the background to my decision...
On March 27th, 2010, my husband and I separated after nearly 7 years of marriage. There were many factors in this. I loved him very much, but we were very very toxic for each other. I had become a selfish and nagging shrew who basically went to work as often as I could to escape the household and him. My health suffered, I was angry all the time (when I wasn’t sobbing), verbal abuse was used by both of us, and there was just so much despair. We finally moved apart and I filed for divorce.
The year that followed, I made sure to spoil myself. I took more time off from work. I travelled to Chicago, San Antonio, and Seattle. I nestled into my apartment (after a good saging), and made my little world. Then my little world got a little bigger.
One year to the day that the Ex and I separated, Tiger walked into my life. We had gone to HS together and recently had connected over FB, but I just viewed him as an old buddy. But on March 27th, 2011, he literally walked into my life, via the restaurant I was working at. After my shift, we went and caught up over a drink at The Bar by my apartment, and from that night on, he’s been a constant in my world. To the point of moving in with me two months later. Tiger has been nothing but a blessing. But it doesn’t end there. Before Tiger had invited himself (with open arms of course) into what is now our happy life, I had invited one of my girlfriends from Chicago to move into my second bedroom. LJ had been unemployed there for years, and she finally accepted my offer to relocate. So, mid April of last year, she moved in, then Tiger joined us. There have been rough times, but we all try very hard to make this as amazing of an experience as possible.
During this time, I was working as a waitress at one of the more popular local restaurants. At the end of last year, I was coming home from work shaking and sad. It wasn’t that I hated my job. I loved it and worked with my best friends. It was just after 25 years of the restaurant industry, I hit the wall. I was miserable. So I broke my cardinal rule. I gave notice with no back up job.
The story goes on, but I’ll save it for my next post. Basically, I’m calling this the Year of Life Changing. Doing things that will not only enrich my life, but others and the world around me. I hope everyone who comes across this little blog enjoys my new adventures…
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